Due to the current state of the world, we are experiencing a sizable degree of division as a race. If each and everyone of us can take on a little more responsibility, we could surely come closer to being unified as a species. Sure, one could make the claim that a great many things have come out of this worldly event as I know a few things that resonate for me, however this is a time in which we should set our differences aside and walk closer to one another. How exactly would one do this?  We can bring into the front of our mind, something called the need to be right. The clinging to our own personal ideal and context and the inability to adopt or try on another potential.

Societies need to be right, and make another wrong for a different opinion is only exacerbating this separation. If we bring this into the light of our minds we can create some space to observe how this way of being, how this mode of operation, can be and is a recipe for disaster in these tough times. Let’s ponder this a bit further, most humans in fact I would say the majority of humans have an inherent fear of uncertainty. I am at times, not excluded from this as I have glimpses of this programming that exists in my own being. What this means, if one is uncertain of the outcome, they would tend to react with fear, mildly perhaps however it exists on some level. Our automatic protection mechanisms sense this fear and build walls around us, in which one cannot penetrate, in which one cannot be open to another idea. When one cannot open to another idea, they are not able to grow and expand.

If we can acknowledge our fear of uncertainty, but not get controlled by it we will move humanity in the direction of it’s True Nature. The reason being, is that less division will exist, we will cultivate a deeper understanding of this existence. Seeing through another’s eyes, perhaps this is what scripture would refer to as the great virtue of compassion. More harmony and oneness will be the byproduct of this way of being.

 “In times of change, the learners inherit the world, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer, Social Philosopher

That is to say, if we close off to another possibility, we will stunt our evolutionary power. The most productive method we can adopt, is a method that is referred to by some as “being with”. This is a deep recognition of the fact that, we are all uniquely ourselves. Referring to the 7.594 billion people who walk this planet, we all have our own life experiences that shape the way we view the world. This own unique way of perceiving the outer reality exists because of the context we experienced throughout our life.

To be with is to acknowledge the fact that not everybody will agree with our own individual opinions, and it is not our job to attempt to fight one to comply with our way of viewing and perceiving. To say this another way, you cannot fight to be right on why your opinion is correct and theirs is wrong. As it relates to being with somebody in dialogue can you embrace some uncertainty? Perhaps entertaining some new context will give you a feeling of more accuracy in your own stance and belief.

It has entered into my awareness through many of my coaching relationships that a great number of people lack the understanding of how to be with another in this way. Maybe they themselves are on the receiving end of a relationship in which the other is attempting to make them wrong. Being responsible, is being “able to respond” versus react. When we cultivate a sizable degree of emotional intelligence, we create the space that allows us to be unmoved by another’s reactions.

I ask that you ponder this for second, there are almost 7.6 billion people walking this planet, what would have you think that everyone is going to agree with your opinions? Naive it would be to think that we all look out upon the world with the same lens. Ask yourself, what has your foundation so shakable that you need someone else to agree with you? Where is it that you need the validation because you don’t fully believe in your truth such that you need buy-in from another? The converse is true, that person attempting to make you wrong, what has them need to have another agree with them? Speaking from I, when I experience a deep resonating truth  it becomes unshakable, I do not need another to agree with me as I have touched this inner truth and no longer question it’s solidity. If you need another to agree with you, why is that? What I intend to communicate here is to bring light to a subject that is a barrier to deeper intimacy and partnership, to help end the separation and division amongst our fellow beings.

Why is it that our conflict and disagreement has been setup to win, not set up to learn? By holding onto your need to be right, you are attempting to win. By holding onto your need to be right you never remain open enough to learn. It has been said that wisdom is being able to entertain another idea without automatically adopting it as your truth.  It was Albert Einstein who said a mind that opens to a new idea will never return to its original size. We are here to expand and grow, we are here to bring Heaven down to Earth, we can all do our part in stepping closer to one another and continuing our evolutionary stride.

With Love, Mr. Haines