The purpose of this article is to share some distinctions between commonly used approaches within the life and performance coaching industry. I would also like to point out this is not a complete list of all the approaches that exist, for that would require extensive time and research and would not be of use for the intention behind writing this article.

It feels useful to clear up some confusion around the nature of coaching, or as its most commonly known as “life coaching”. Coaching for the average human is still a relatively new concept. Most actors/actresses, professional athletes, CEO’s etc have had coaches for decades and we have not thought to question this, but most of us tend to accept that these high performing people require it to play at these levels.

What I would like to create inquire around is this. What would the game of your life look like if you played within a greater capacity of your own power? What would it look like to have a relationship with a person (coach) that had such a strong ability to hold the metaphorical mirror and allow you to accurately see your reflection. In witness of your own reflection you could see and make the changes needed to continue to expand? That by the holding of this mirror and reflecting back to you your blind spots, you could then transcend these limitations for good.

We are live now, we have one shot to live this life, and one day it will come to an end.

What I can say with the many years of experience as a transformative life coach is that most people don’t want coaching, but everyone wants what powerful transformative coaching can do for them. Everyone I meet regardless of their current external results is longing for something deeper and more meaningful whether they are consciously aware of this or not.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Coaching is a luxury and not something that anyone needs. It is however, a method that can help you deepen into yourself, developing a greater sense of self awareness. Powerful coaching will help you collapse the gap from where you are now to where you truly want to be.

What I desire to presence now is the distinction between coaching at the realm of doing and coaching at the realm of being. It has become aware to me through my conversations over the years with clients, and prospective clients that there is a bit of a story made up around what coaching is. What seems to be the common belief is that when referencing the term “coaching”, it is being associated with idea of doing more or doing different. The assumption is that if you want different results, a coach holds you accountable to do more or do different activities that produce desire outcomes. This method of simply “doing” falls a bit short however, it is not quite transformational.

I have noticed in coaching people from all walks of life, from the newly single mother going through a divorce and recreating herself in the world, to the high performing CEO, that most people inherently know within themselves what they need to do. There is some kind of instinct within them that has them know what activities to do and not do to change their end results. Why would coaching be useful for people who for the most part already know what to do and not do to create external change? This is a question to sit with a bit and we will revisit it shortly.

The other type of coaching that I want to presence in this article is that from the ontological approach. Coaching from a place of Being. 

Let me define this a bit more. You are a human Being, not a human doing. Your Beingness is made up by the thoughts and feelings you have within you. Your energy introduces you long before you same your name, and this energy is a bi-product of your thoughts and feelings. These are inner narratives that have been running in the background and were installed in the first years of life by your parents, caretakers, and environment. These stories that play out within us, can be both freeing if they are expansive, or can feel like a prison with no way out. They are not dependent on the external results. Said another way, the outside world has little to do with what is felt inside. This is why you can see the man who has it all (materially speaking) the mansion, the luxury cars, the trophy wife the fame etc and inside he is still miserable. Inside something is missing. It is his state of BEING, the thoughts and stories that are playing out in his mind and the associated feelings those stories create.

Coaching from the ontological perspective, from the state of Being is transformational, referring to shifts within that have people begin to see and experience a different inner story of themselves. This leads to a lasting change. Now as the self image of the person begins to change, they can experience themselves more harmoniously. When this elevated state of being is brought into the doing, they become significantly more effective.

I coach a lot of people in the real estate and mortgage lending world as I had many years of a past life being a top performer in that industry and I would give an analogy to describe being and doing in terms that fit the context of their businesses. “It’s not about how many new home buyers or sellers you get an appointment with, or its not about how many realtors you get a coffee meeting with, its more about WHO SHOWS UP to the appointment”. This is your state of being. It’s not about what you do, but rather who you Be. When your inner stories and narratives have been reframed to have you feel powerful, joyful, worthy you begin to carry a difference essence with you as you move about through the world, and this can be felt by others. Its a magnetic energy, it draws people and opportunities to you.

Back to the question, “why would coaching be useful for people who for the most part already know what to do and what not to do to gain different results?” Coaching at the level of doing, of strategy and tactics can be helpful but true inner transformation doesn’t happen unless it is addressed the level of being.

The work I do is deep transformative inner work from the level of Being. When we get that into alignment it not only creates a lasting feeling of harmony, the doing that emanates from this elevated state of being flows much more naturally. The work I do in the transformative life coaching space is not to tell you how you should live or what you should do, but rather connect you to your own inner wisdom, to help you drop the limited stories that no longer serve. To inspect and restructure these inner belief systems that permeate inner disharmony. From this place you get to bring your expanded version of yourself into all things and people you are in relationship to. From your friends, to your spouse, to your children to your business and employees your elevated version of yourself benefits all.

What I desire for you to take with you is this, can you see yourself as an asset worth investing in? Are the little glimpses of your depth and inner power throughout the years worth it to explore a bit further? What could be possible in your life if you experienced the next level of inner expansiveness?

You are capable beyond comprehension, and your life matters.

If something resonates within you after reading these words, let’s create a conversation.