The root of my message relates to the inner conflict that most humans experience, and a deep desire to help heal it. Perhaps it is not even possible to completely eradicate, however even if we could improve the suffering within by 20% what could the human landscape actually look like?
The truth is nobody actually knows, but the thought of it, knowing that we are in collective agreement in how we shape our reality/world gives me this sense of expansion. This feeling of increase has me dwell in what is possible. What could be for the human experience if we all projected more love and peace into the collective, surely it must all begin with each of us cleaning our own house energetically.
If you had to label me and my vocation as any one particular thing, it would be a disrupter. I know that I exist to disrupt the constructs. It is that the words I use both written and spoken become catalysts for many in disrupting their thought patterns, programming and ideology in a useful way. This disruption allows people to move into a space of inquiry and from that space new ways of seeing the world can be entertained and adopted.
I run a transformative life coaching practice here in Phoenix and through this work it has been an intimate doorway into the human psyche. I get the opportunity to be in dialogue with another human with the purpose of identifying the places in which they believe they are stuck. These places that they are having trouble seeing within themselves, I get the blessing of being able to reflect back to them ways of expanding through their edges.
Just yesterday I was having a conversation with a client I have known for years and had been working with for about 6 months and it was clear in our time together how much energy was given to all of these other facets of his life that were not truly in alignment with his ideals. Energy that was being unconsciously consumed by these matters that were completely irrelevant to the life goals he held for himself.
He had a specific vision that he was creating within his business, and a knowing that he had only a few months left before he began his initiation into fatherhood as his son was soon to be born. The nature of our conversations as of late were to survey his surroundings, taking inventory to that which he was giving energy to that was not in alignment with what he was desiring his next chapter of life to look and feel like.
Contemplating energetic bandwidth
If there is only so much energetic bandwidth we possess could we look at the things and relationships that we are giving our energy to and clean some of them up, thus taking the power back. When we take this power back, we have more to give to the things that truly matter. Now I will make this statement, there is no such way that I know of to measure or prove we have limited energetic bandwidth. What I do know from experience is that most of those that have an overwhelming sense of attachments to many people and things appear to have little life force left to create with. When they begin releasing these attachments they do in fact begin to revitalize themselves.
Back to the story of this particular client and the agreement that was made between us in a previous session was to play a game of NO. What was meant by this is that to any request from anyone that automatic answer was NO. Simple. But, to those that he really wanted to say yes to, he would say something along the lines of, “my initial answer is no, but I do love you and want to say yes so let me sit with it and find ways of rearranging my life such that I can make it a yes”.
This conscious pause allowed him to really contemplate whether or not saying yes was in alignment with his true ideals, his vision. This opt-out energy as he referred to it, helped him create space within his life, a pervading sense of peace began to flow in, a seeming spaciousness was a bi-product.
The origin of the program:
The origin of most all our programming starts in the womb and up until we are about 8 years of age. As a child the need for love is sometimes only met when the child is in service to others, meaning they get what they need only when they are doing something for another. Father doesn’t acknowledge the little child, so the child gets creative and does something special for father, only then does father acknowledge the childs existence and give them the love and attention needed. This same programming if left unchecked can manifest in adulthood as the need to be liked and approved by others, so one learns to constantly say yes to all requests. The unconscious fear of saying no, and the potential for the others to withdrawal their love because of this NO has a person locked in this perpetual cycle of saying yes to all things. This programming at an early age was useful, the child found ways of getting its needs for love met, it helped validate it’s existence, but what about now, is there a cost?
Here is a practice to take with you, try it on and see if it fits.